the KING of all quizzes

i took a quiz online once that said i was 33 percent gay (that's one-third). i also took a quiz that told me what kind of volkswagon i am (old beetle). and i also took a quiz about how high my iq is (180). since i've become so adept at taking quizzes, i think it's time to develop of a quiz of my own. i like to call it the which park street resident are YOU? quiz leave your quiz answers in the comments to find out who you're most like.

question 1- how tall are you?
a) short
b) average
c) about as tall as caroline
d) very tall

question 2- what would be your perfect date?
a) dinner and a movie
b) freebasing coke
c) washing each other's cars
d) having a rap battle

question 3- what color are your eyes?
a) blue
b) blue
c) blue
d) brown

question 4- how good are you at arm wrestling?
a) not good
b) pretty good
c) way good
d) i find this question offensive and a little sexist

question 5- how many hip hop bands do you have on your ipod?
a) less than 3
b) less than 10
c) less than 20
d) as many as caroline has

question 6- how much do you care about cats?
a) i dont care about them because i'm cold and heartless
b) kitty babies!!!
c) there's always room in my heart for one more cat
d) i'm allergic

question 7- how loudly can you burp?
a) as loud as elin
b) that's impossible, no one burps louder than elin
c) i never burp
d) i only burp when it's appropriate to do so

question 8- (fill in the blank) when i'm coming home from a long, hard day i like to sit back and __________.
a) then get up and bake treats for the millions of people who love me
b) plan my outfit for the next day
c) stalk all of my old boyfriends on the internet
d) eat myself sick off of answer a's treats

question 9- how big a sports fan are you?
a) i have season tickets to most local sporting events
b) i only feign interest in sports so boys will like me
c) i played basketball in high school
d) i think they're mostly annoying and sound like "sshhhhaahhhsshhhw"

question 10- where would you prefer to practice role-playing?
a) in a theater
b) as part of a civil war battleground re-enactment
c) in front of a mirror pretending you're on top model
d) in your roommates bedroom

I wonder

When she'll get back from her vacay. I miss that lady. And her delicious baked goods...

Paparazzo

The mexican party house next door to us got dish network installed today (if you can imagine THAT house getting any funner...) and when we discussing our neighb's activities at dinner tonight ck says "i wonder what it would be like to have paparazzi following you around all the time". I think cee deeply underestimates her own popularity. She does have paparazzi following her around. We know what she does, day in, day out.

You know you love me...xoxo.

on the street where you live

somebody was just screaming "carl you fuckin bitch!" at full volume, over and over for about 3 straight minutes. the voice was coming from upstairs, but i'm pretty sure it wasn't caroline. she's resting peacefully...

aren't you ceek?

Scarlet/King?

But maybe cee could also be the austin scarlet of our caro-plex? Just think about it, creative, classy, sweet, sensitive, sassy, crafty, impeccable taste, beautiful bone structure... the list goes on and ON.

Lager

We here at headquarters have been thinking more about some cee-lebrity comparisons and here's a good one...Karl Lagerfeld!

Now, I know what you're thinking. What could CK and KL possibly have in common? He's an old man who's pretty much nuts, has the worst case of sunglasses disease ever on record, and (probably) runs around threatening things like "prepare to receive the seed of LAGERFELD" when he feels like his models aren't paying enough attention to him. Meanwhile CK is, as always, the picture of poise, refinement, and politeness. But here's the dill. KL is a trendsetter. Bat-shit crazy though he may be, he put Channel on the map. And you know what, what KL has done for Channel, CK has done for Park Street. Suddenly enough, EVERYONE wants to be our neighbor. I mean, we're turning people down left and right over at the Caro-plex. Sometimes Elin and I, in our weaker moments, like to indulge the thought that everyone wants to live by us, but we know what's really going on here. We see it. It's the smell of baked goods wafting from an open upstairs window that lures everyone to our neighborhood.

And we're fine with that.

it's 11:23 pm

and i think i hear a fan going upstairs. does that mean cee is pooping? or maybe just cooling off?

Holla!

I just wanted to give a little shout out to my girl CK. No one is more kind and charitable. Do you know how many times recently hooner and I have wanted to bake something. We start baking and we realize that we don't have key ingreds. So what do we do, but run upstairs and get some flour or some sugar, or just a little moral support. We love that sass.

Dew Unto Others

I heard this story recently from a guy who worked at convenience stores on both sides of the tracks dividing the Salt Lake valley. He says that on the east side, they always run out of diet coke and on the west side they always run out of mountain dew. I was going to write a post likening caroline to the addictive, high-class qualities of diet coke but, you know what, fuck that shit. Cee is totally the mountain dew type. Subtly nuanced, yet down to earth enough for the everyday working man.